Everything has been very calm and easy lately - it's about time. 

I'm in the process of applying to grad schools.  Almost done, just need to wait for the letters of recommendation and I shall sit patiently for a couple months while they determine my fate.

I found a tenant for the second floor and the paperwork is in process so by the first of next month, I will officially be a sucessful landlord at the age of 22!  Of course I wouldn't have been able to financially accomplish this without the help of my mommy dearest which is why I will only have the title of a landlord and not the income of one. T.T  Since this project will be finished by the beginning of next month, I am already thinking of the next level.  I miscalculated and realized that the current revenue is far too low to be acceptable so it is time to expand.

I was forced to file a small claim suit against Kat Lau for her extreme unprofessional work and I just got notice from my lawyer that she finally paid.  Though the amount is not significantly large, it is a matter of principals. 

As for modeling, it has been confirmed that I will be the main model for Boston Camera Club's high fashion shoot this month.  We did a photoshoot a couple weekends ago in Concord, MA and I was just notified that one of those shots have been selected to be on the cover their 2010 calendar!! Nothing big, true but local exposure is better than nothing!  More tearsheets and resume buildup!  I made a professional modeling website to better promote myself and show off my work - www.viviantran.webs.com

B said he has events planned for the weekend of my birthday.  I'm actually surprised he even remembered :P  Though I am very happy and excited that he has the whole weekend planned, I dread the fact that it takes place in New York.  I really don't want to take the crappy bus for 8 hours again, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him so off we go to New York again.

I got sick over the weekend.  In the past, I would not care to take any medicine but with all the flu-craze, I am not taking any chances this year.  I’ve been taking Day & Nyquil everyday for almost 4 days now, trying to keep from not falling asleep every time I take the medicine.

I am just so incredibly confused at the moment.  It seems as if I cannot concentrate; I don't think I've ever been more indecisive in my life.  In less than 3 months, I will need to make one of the hardest decisions of my life: what to do after graduation.

Here are my choices:

1)  Go to LA for graduate school.  I mean, I have planned on this over a year now, wouldn't you think I'd be determined by now?  Well, there is a dilemma with this plan: the schools I want to apply to do not have the specific degree that I want.  They have a more general Ph.D. Program, but I only had intentions for a MA.  The schools that do have the program I want doesn't have a good campus and that's not very good if I wanted to pull myself out of the only life that I've known and drop myself in a completely foreign place with no support.  I know I've always been a very strong person, but we're talking about a complete change as if I had never existed prior to this year.

2)  Attend the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology.  They have the perfect degree I am seeking in a special 10-month accelerated program.  Only catch, classes go from 5 pm to 9 pm Fridays and 8 am to 8 pm Saturdays & Sundays.  10 months of this type of schooling may just drive me over the cliff.  Also, there is no financial aid available since I will have so much free time during the weekdays that they claim students have time to work and pay for school, so I'd still disappear off the radar since it doesn't seem like I would have any personal time.

3)  Now 2 & 3 go together as in if I decide on 2, then 3 will most likely happen as well.  I will go to a foreign country (most likely Hong Kong, Japan or Taiwan) for one year and teach English.  There is a program which pays for the roundtrip ticket, salary, and housing to teach English in a foreign country.  If I chose the accelerated MA program, I will have one extra year to engage in this choice as well.  Funny thing is, I'll be once again off the radar for another year.

4)  Find a job that pays for graduate school.  I say I want to apply to all these great expensive private schools but where will I get the money?  If I can find a decent job that will pay for my grad school, wouldn't that be much more ideal rather than digging a big financial hole for me to drop into?  However, in this economy, where am I going to find anyone to even notice my existence?  Another downside, I won't know where I might be relocated to in this direction. 

There is one thing that seems to be in common; I need to disappear.

Deadlines are in 2 months, and I am still standing in the fork, looking at all the possible roads, but which road is the road not taken and which road is my road?  After so long, why am I now starting to be the indecisive woman who can't seem to make a choice to save her life?  Shall I let the ship sail itself to its dock?  Can I take risks?